A Prayer for Perspective

 “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” – James 1:5

Perspective means “to look through” to the end. I learned a helpful spiritual discipline on my faith journey when I asked God to give me His perspective of the long view and the forward look. I now find it helpful to look up and ask God to give me His perspective as I take the long view back at the events of my life. I believe it does wonders for our perspective when we regularly shake ourselves out of our introspective pity parties, look up, and ask for God’s long view perspective of our life in both directions.

Robertson McQuilken teaches: “It is easier to move to a consistent and problem-free extreme than to remain at the center of tension on any biblical issue, but the truth is often found at the center.”

In an interview, Rick Warren was asked how he felt about his wife’s cancer. He reflected that he once thought life was a series of mountaintops and valleys, but he has now decided life is like a railroad track. The left rail represents this hard reality: there is always something bad in our life because God is more interested in our character than He is in our comfort. The right rail represents this blessing: there is always something good in our life because God is good and He does love us.

I have found that when we’re hurting we can often find truth at the center between these two rails of reality.

How to Let Patience Win Over Irritation

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love” – Ephesians 4:2

Often, it’s easy to notice things in our husband or wife that we view as annoying habits, while at the same time looking over our own behaviors.

In an episode of the classic television show, “I Love Lucy,” Lucy and Ricky Ricardo, along with their best friends, Fred and Ethel Mertz, find themselves cooped up together during a rainy vacation day. Disappointment at cancelled plans, along with boredom set the stage for conflict.

When the close-quarter’s togetherness begins to wear on them, they start turning on each other, picking at habits that are wearing thin on their patience, like Lucy’s excessive stirring of her coffee cup. Of course, the more the irritation is pointed out, the more the distracting behavior increases.

As each person’s habit is exposed, the couples become defensive and offended, pointing fingers at each other. Like the couples in “I Love Lucy” demonstrate, a husband and wife can clearly see others annoying habits and completely be oblivious to their own.

It’s especially easy when feeling stressed to concentrate on small faults in one another, while overlooking huge ones in our own lives. Like Matthew 7:3 asks, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”

Especially in the togetherness of marriage, there is the wonderful potential to draw a husband and wife closer together as a couple. But there is also the opportunity to tear couples apart when spouses focus on each other’s flaws rather than their strengths.

So how do married couples navigate through irritating behaviors of their spouse? Ephesians 4:2 encourages us to “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”

Scripture assures that “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins” – 1 Peter 4:8.

God’s Word also urges each of us to examine ourselves first. As Psalm 25:2 directs, we can ask God to, “Test me, Lord, and try me, examine my heart and my mind.”

Doing so helps us to see our own weaknesses, and helps us to focus on correcting our own bad habits rather than our spouse’s flaws. Self-examination helps to cultivate what Colossians 3:12 encourages us to pursue. “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”

Hopefully, as we turn the spotlight on ourselves rather than trying to improve our spouse, it will work as a shining light of encouragement for our husband or wife to pursue the same type of self-examination.

Focusing on God changing us helps to develop humility in our lives. Like 1 Peter 3:8 urges, “Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.”

Being able to overlook our spouse’s offenses comes through humbling ourselves before God, seeking His wisdom, and letting Him cultivate patience in our lives (Proverbs 19:11).

Praying with Impact

1 John 5:14-15 (KJV)
¹⁴  And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us:
¹⁵  And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him.

Since praying is such a common practice for believers, over time it’s easy to fall into habits that result in a lifeless and empty prayer life. Instead of a dynamic conversation with thoughtful requests and active listening for God’s response, our prayers can seem more like grocery lists. Because communication with the Lord is such a vital part of the Christian life, we occasionally need to step back and examine how we’re doing.

Begin by asking yourself these questions:
How effective are my prayers? Is God answering my petitions, or does it seem as if they never go past the ceiling?
Who am I praying for? Are most of my requests for myself or others?
What am I asking the Lord to do? Have I looked in the Word to see what He wants, or am I trying to get Him to intervene according to my plans and desires?
When do I pray? Is it only during emergencies or when I need something?

If you discovered any selfishness in your answers, you’re not alone. Most of us struggle to enter God’s presence with our eyes focused on Him instead of our needs. But the only way we’ll be able to pray with impact is to fill our minds with Scripture so we can find out what the Lord wants to do.

Your prayer life can become effective and dynamic if you’ll approach the Lord with a clean heart (Psalm 66:18), align your requests with His will, and believe He will do what He says (Mark 11:24). Then you’ll be able to pray with absolute confidence knowing that He will hear and answer your petitions.